Oh how I have wanted to blog for the past few weeks. I have had a heavy heart, but distractions have kept me from posting..........
Tonight was a great reminder of why it has been important to share. Baby girl, putting you to bed is my favorite time of day. Before I met you I dreamed of how it would be..... You were so tiny at 16 months old, only 15#. Lauren was a 7# baby, but was 16# at 6 months old. Everyone thought Lauren was such a tiny little girl. But you are just so teenie... My agency CHSFS did a wonderful job of preparing us for adoption!!! In 2008 1,725 children from Ethiopia were adopted into the USA. 90% are under 5 years old. 46% are under 1 year old. I took days of classes for 8 hours each to help prepare us for our new children. They really stressed the importance of bonding. No matter the age of the child we should try sleeping together, or at least in the same room to create parental bonding. These children are raised this way from baby on. Whole families sleep on one mattress. What could it hurt??? I mean if we wanted these children so badly.......isn't sleeping with them such a small sacrifice?? I had dreams of Selamnesh sleeping next to me.....but she has dreams of being left in her crib to stretch and move..... Some mothers in our group even breast fed their new children. With the help of herbs you can start lactating. And it worked!!! Not for me... I didn't even try. Been there, done that. But they stressed the importance of bonding skin to skin no matter the age of the child. I started right away rocking her before bed, she doesn't like to be rocked to sleep, I wear either a bra or camisole and rock her. I sing her "Jesus Loves Me", "Amazing Grace", Oh How I Love Jesus", "Just As I Am", and sometimes more....... We start out praying. I was so amazed how these children at 16 months old would wait to eat until we prayed. She would sit with her hands folded and just shake with excitement about food, but wouldn't eat until we prayed. When you tell her it's time to pray she either folds her tiny hands or covers her eyes. So we pray and Thank God for sending Jesus to die on the cross for our sins. We ask Jesus to forgive us for anything we have done bad today, And then we ask God to bless everyone that we know. She is starting to name people, it's so cute...... Then we sit/lay skin to skin. With her face on my chest. As I sing, I hold her close, our noses only inches apart. I can feel my breath coming back in my face. Her tiny hand strokes my face or my chest. I imagine she did the same with Bizunesh. What would bedtime be like with a tiny baby in her birth home??? Did she squat on the floor, sit in the hard wooden chair in the corner?? She didn't have a glider as I do, but I'm sure it was the same bonding. Bizunesh was a great mother to Selamnesh!! I imagine Bizunesh holding her tight to her chest as I do, singing her songs of Jesus. Bizunesh is a follower of Jesus. And her tiny hands stroking her face or her chest as she does mine.
The day will come when she is just too long and too heavy to hold her so close. And then the day will come when we just don't do it anymore........how sad. I can't even imagine not rocking her, holding her close, feeling our breaths meet. I love you Baby Girl. Goodnight.........
