We had a quiet weekend. We stayed around the house for the most part. I built shelves in the basement to house my collection of boxes. I think deep down inside I wonder if they are going to stop making them. So I collect them. Really it's because I'm too practical and would never want to buy a box. I even ripped 4x8 sheets of particle board into 2x8 for the actual shelves with my handy Mikita skill saw. (thanks Mom)
8am Saturday morning Tristan decides he is hungry for cake. He finds a Funfetti cake mix, and makes the cake. Lauren wakes at the smell of almost done cake and wants to take it out half baked and eat it raw. They settle on baking the cake.... I help cut off the top, and they eat it. They decide to frost it in vanilla and put sprinkles on the top. I take a break from my project to see a beautiful cake. I almost wanted to put candles in the top....... (any reason for a party) We each had a piece of cake, Selamnesh was napping and missed out.
So last night I made a beautiful apple smoked bacon, encrusted pork roast, red potatoes with garlic butter, and topped it off with a piece of cake. As I started feeding Selamnesh small pieces of cake, I started thinking about her birthday. What would I do for her 2nd birthday. For the children's first birthdays I got them their entire own cake and they could eat it any way they wanted. Yes, I would do the same for Selamnesh........... What about her 1st birthday..... Her mother surrendered her 13 days before her 1st birthday. I got the referral call the day before her birthday. Her birthday was on a Wedensday. We went out for dinner in honor of her birthday and I couldn't stop crying then........ What did her birth mother do on her birthday?? Did she cry?????? I sat and cried, and tried to smile as I fed her cake and eventually let her eat it on her own. I cried for the birthday I missed....I cried because she didn't have a cake and balloons and streamers on her first birthday...... I wondered if her mother and I would both be crying every birthday for our little girl that we share. I told her through two translators that I would give her a birthday gift every year from her birth mother.
Lord, God. I pray that you give Bizunesh peace. May you know that your little girl is happy, and loved, she is always warm, and is never hungry. I love you.
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I feel for her mom --- it must be so hard for her to be away from her daughter. But, then it also must be so peaceful to know that a Christian woman is raising her daughter -- she was able to meet you, which I'm sure brought her a lot of peace. Don't look back to what Sahara has missed -- make her life from this year forward something her birth mother would be proud of. I think that would be the best way to honor both Sahara's mom and God.
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