Wednesday, October 22, 2008

We are HOME

Even though we are home, there isn't much more to say........ They still don't know what is/was wrong. They don't know what caused, what ever.... We go in every few days to draw blood. Hopfully her numbers will continue to decrease. I'm not sure how I feel about it now that we are home. Children's hospital staff is wonderful. They never asked me to hold her down, or to even be in the room for that matter. And the nurses went just that extra mile. One of our first days, I came back to the room to find a nurse in the crib with Selamnesh singing the wheels on the bus...... Thanks Trica!!!!!! And Tiffany you were such a blessing!!!!! All of the nurses were!

And I can't thank the rest of you who prayed and pled with God for healing. It IS the only reason she is better. Then didn't give her a ml of medicine besides Vitimin K for clotting, and an ant-acid for her stomach. Most kids get ulcers in the hospital, so it's just a precaution. Prayer is the only thing that made this precious child better.

Tomorrow we go in for a full lab work up. Hoping her numbers are down. Normal is under 60.....Last she was 926. Better than 4000, but not 60 yet. I'm hoping for a cause also. Give me a virus, a paracite, give me something......... but tell me what was wrong with my precious child.

PS. It's so wonderful to have Lauren and Tristan with Selamnesh. Lauren is going to be such a great mother!!!!!

Monday, October 20, 2008

Update

Really there isn't anything new to tell. A bunch of maybe this, maybe that, maybe we can go home tomorrow.

They draw her blood every 12 hours the maximum that they can. Being that she is only 16.67 pounds they can only draw about 11cc. So they draw the maximum twice a day. If the tests turn out that her liver levels are continuing to lessen she can go home if she test negative for a certain parasite. If not then we stay. They wanted to do a pic line so that they wouldn't have to stick her but they couldn't get her veins to open up enough. The insides of her tiny arms are just bruised Black! They took her off of the IV, but keep the site in, just in case they need to hook her back up. They have tried a new line in her other foot, but can't get it. Her tiny body is bruised so badly it's hard to look at when I change her. I have to focus on the medical miracle that they can remove a piece of liver through needles, instead of cutting her open.

My heart aches.......for Lauren and Tristan. For my baby girl....For her Birth mother..... I held her birth mother in my arms and promised her that I would take care of her baby girl. She trusted me to care for the child she gave birth to.

How has God Blessed me in this............ Christy and Tahja. I can not thank you enough. You help me while I wept. It's not like we are family, or that I grew up with you both, or that we have shared our darkest, deepest secrets............ Wednesday night while curled up on the couch in our room, I finally listened to the 8 voicemails I had after meeting with Dr. after Dr. and drawing her first blood. It's Christy... She knew I wouldn't ask for help, so she desided to come anyway. She left 2 hours ago!!!!!!!! I so needed her. Tahja came the next day and stayed until Sunday night. She asked questions for me, heard what I didn't, and held me as I cried. We even got the nurses to think that we were a "couple".

Lee...Thank you for the bags of goodies and the radio. It has made all the difference. Christian music has brought up conversations with people. And has been my strength when I am alone.

Greg...Thanks for the visit. It was wonderful to see you.

To the kindness of all who have emailed and left messages for me. Some who are complete stangers to me. THANK YOU!!!

Sunny and Sunny......Ethiopian women who came to me and spoke Ahmaric to Selamnesh. She does understand!!!!!!! We are family.

Jesus, thank you for your continuted strength. I never felt alone. I know you will never leave me, or forget about me. To God be the Glory!!!!

God has so Blessed me in this troubled time. God does not give you what you can not handle, for this I am certain.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

UW Madison

Wednesday morning we had a regular check up with the pediatrician. He came in, sat down and didn't look good. Looking intently at his laptop said we needed to check a few more things out...... So more blood draws, a chest xray......waiting......waiting.... I peak out the door wondering if I can get her dressed. He tells me that it will just be a minute that he is making some phone calls......wait......

He comes in, sits down, scrolls on his laptop, which I beleive is a nerveous habit. He looks at me, and says, I don't know what to do. Her liver issn't functioning. Her levels are all off. I can leave and he will let me know where we were going to go. 2 hours later he calls to say, go home, pack a bag, and rush to the Children's Hospital. Hurry. They are waiting for you.........

7pm we pull into the parking ramp. They are waiting for us, name on the room already. As I walk down the hall to the desk, I start to loose it.......

We have been here for 4 days!!!!! I have been over everything....They draw the mazimum amount of blood at a time, to run every test they can think of. They don't know what's wrong.......

Thursday at 3pm we had a liver byopsy. Her liver is 4 times the normal size. The liver is destoying it's self. She is in liver failure. They sat me down and prepared me for liver transplant. Oh my God, I haven't even had my daughter home for 2 weeks and they are planning to cut her to pieces.........I should be home planting bulbs in the gardens, with her sitting in the grass. Instead I'm asking if liver faliure is fatal. The liver specialist replies, not always.......They don't know what's wrong or what's causing it......

As of this moment tonight......Bottom line....... It's not the major things we all think of. It's not HIV, it's not Hep A, B, C. They stopped talking about transplant. And now we pray and wait for results of tests to determine what it is......

Thank you for your prayers, God Is Good All The Time!!!!!

Monday, October 6, 2008

This is why I wanted to be a Mommy again

I am living the dream!!

Last night it all became real. Lauren and Tristan spent the weekend with their dad. I missed them very much and called to see how they were doing. Tristan went duck hunting, and Lauren is still under the weather after the trip home. I still miss them very much when they aren't at home!!!

Selamnesh, we are still calling her for now because she doesn't know any English and at least she knows her birth name, and I ate dinner. I'm not one for spicy food and that's all she ate in Addis. I bought some Pastrimi at the deli after realizing that the food I like just didn't have enough flavor. Saturday I tried giving her rotisseri chicken, she spit it out until I but BBQ sauce on it. So I thought I would try some pastrami. She ate all of the outside pieces with the pepper aound the edges. She wouldn't eat the middle!!!!! So I grabbed the pepper mill. After mixing in the pepper she ate it all!!!! After dinner we sat in the living room and played with the barnyard. Later I popped some popcorn and we sat watching 60 minutes and ate/played with the popcorn. She loved it!! I think because I douse it with salt and butter!! She would stick her little arm in the bowl and stir it around, pull a few choice pieces out and eat them. She would climb over my legs and back, She started crawling on all fours, it was just so much fun!!! And that's when it all hit me........This is why I wanted to be a mommy again!!!!

Today we went to the Dr. They drew blood, I cried more than she did. I started to cry when they were trying to deside which vein was better. Everyones comments were the same........She is so tiny, she looks like a porcelin doll. And she does. I don't realize how tiny she really is for her age.

Just a few minutes ago I found her crawling to the dog's bowl of food. So I put it in his crate. I turn around and she has her arm up to her body in the crate taking the kibble out of his dish and eating it!!!!! So I gave her a teething biscut, now as I write she is giving the dog licks of her busicut!!!!! She just gave him the buscuit!!!!!! This is what being a mommy is all about!!!!! This is living the dream!!!!!

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Embassy Day

This morning we went to the the farewell ceremony at the care center. It was bitter sweet. They dressed the children in traditional clothing. The older children sung us a few songs. They put their hand prints in a book. We had cake and then had a prayer. The care takers love these children so much. Everyone was in tears. the nannies and us parents. CHSFS is not like other orphanages.

Most of the children are going home next week or the following. But there is one little girl who broke my heart. She is 8 years old. She has been there for a year. I'm sure that she will have a wonderful family someday. But for a year she has watched children every week go home with families, but she knows that she does not have a family. She is beautiful!! My heart aches for her. She understands at 8 years that she has not been chosen. May God comfort her and soften the heart of a family to adopt her.

After the ceremony we went to the Embassy to finalize the adoption. Really non eventful. I feel like I should have answered more questions, done something more. We waited in a room until our name was called. Then we went to a window and they asked us a few questions like is this the child you thought you were going to get?? Then it was done!!

After the Embassy we went to do some last minute shopping. We hired a driver for $6.50 an hour. This guy graduated with a veterinary degree and makes more money driving foreigners around than he does as a Vet.

We checked our flights and we still leave here at 10:15pm tomorrow and still arrive at our airport Friday at 4:30. For more details call my mom.

Dinner

After getting home from the trip to Hossanna, we were hungry. Some of the people in the guest house are vegetarians. So we have been eating noodles and sauce every day. We were craving meat!!!!!!!!! There is a local restaurant Metro Pizza. We walked there and after one glance of the menu discovered they had steak!!!!!!!!! It wasn't an American 1 inch steak, but more like a Ponderosa steak, covered in mushrooms and gravy. Steak never tasted so good!!!! And all for 55 birr=$5.50 a steak dinner!!!!

Today the good bye ceremony and the American Embassy.