Thursday, May 28, 2009

Ethiopian Princess Selamnesh's 2nd Birthday

May 28th marks the Birthday of Princess Selamnesh, desendent of Queen Sheba of Ethiopia. It was a Large Royal Gala. All of the Kingdom attended this Royal event and everyone was dressed in their finest wears!!

It was truly a wonderful party!!! Everyone came, everyone had a great time!!! more than 50 people!!! I loved sitting on the deck with my closest friends and watched the mix of Ethiopian and Anglosaxon children play soccar in the backyard. What a beautiful blend!!!! I am truly Blessed to have such wonderful friends and wonderful relatives. God has been so good to all of us!!!





By request of the Ethiopian population.......We devoured bowls and bowls of my famous chili. 30 Pounds of chili!!! For them I made it extra spicy!!! Selamnesh loves Chili, she wasn't as keen about the cake I got just for her.......What ever makes the Princess happy on her special day!!!





All of the Princes and Princesses of Ethiopia came to the Gala event.





Have you ever seen such an adorable little girl??? After opening gifts she wanted to wear her Minnie mouse Princess ears, with her tiara underneath, her princess gown with a tutu over the top with fairy wings on her back. She had so much fun!!!






She isn't spoiled, just well LOVED!!! Thank you to everyone for all of the gifts!!




Chuck E Cheese!!! An American Classic Lauren had her 2nd Birthday at chuck E cheese, Tristan had his 2nd Birthday at Churck E Cheese. and now Selamnesh has her 2nd Brithday at Churck E Cheese!!! She isn't much for the moving rides, But did like the slow moving mary-go-round and a horse race ride that she and Lauren had a great time on. When it came to meet Chuck E, I knew better than to let her see him before the picture was taken. And as soon as I knew we had a good one, I slowly turned around and she almost jumped out of my arms.







Happy Birthday Baby Girl...........

One year ago today.........

One year ago today I received my referral call for a beautiful, tiny little girl, who was named Selamnesh. For all the play by play details(which are quite funny now) go to the right column under blog archives, then go to 2008 posts, then find May 27, 2008.

This has been quite an emotional month. May started off with a very dear friend bringing home her Ethiopian boys, my 1st Mother's Day of 3 children, the one year anniversary of Bizunesh bringing Selamnesh into care, the 1st anniversary of our referral call, and tomorrow will be Selamnesh's 2nd Birthday
.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

God's Blessing

I blog as a personal journal. It amazes me that people would actually read what I have to say. But I get emails from people I don't know and have never met, that are ministered to through my blog. When I blog it's usually because I take the time to do it for a particular reason. I sit and just write, with very little thought ahead of time of what I want to say besides the original topic. I really think that it is God writing through me. I write, spell check, and never read it again. Some have suggested that I print out my blog and have it published as a book. I'm not sure...it's so personal.... Personal, but yet open to the public. I don't understand my own thinking...........

But tonight I want to share a story of God's Blessing. As Born again believing Christians, as most of my closest friends are, we want to walk in God's will, and direction. We desire to please our Saviour. We want to follow the Bible and all of its commands and desire all of its blessings. In the Bible it instructs us to take care of the orphans and widows. For some it is supporting an orphanage, for others it's sending money to an organization for children, for some it's volunteering, and for others it's adoption. Hopefully it's more than just one. I felt the call to adopt years ago.....when I was still married. Even before then, back in high school I had a heart for Africa. And part of my heart will always be there.

For those of us who choose to adopt, we must seek God's will. Just because the Bible instructs us to take care of the orphans doesn't mean that God wants everyone to adopt them. For some He knows it would be better for them to support adoption, or another avenue. A while back a friend and I discussed that same subject. Their family was having some difficulty in adopting, and we discussed if it was God's will, or making it God's will. How do we know if Satan is coming against us, and making a situation difficult for us, so that we might grow from it, or if it really isn't God's will??? I understand making something wonderful, God's will, because I wanted it all too much. And I believe that it can happen in adoption as well. We want to do God's work in helping the orphans, and we want to do God's will, but it isn't really what God has for us.

In my adoption, which only took 5 months for a referral, and 4 months to complete. Which is normally a year wait and four to six months to complete. My prayer to God from the beginning was this... God, if you REALLY want me to adopt a child, make it easy, come up with the money, and let everything fall into place, because if it doesn't, I quit!! I have learned the hard way that just because you are doing something good that God would support, doesn't mean that it is God's will for YOUR life.

I want to share the story of a family I know personally. I know that these people are Born again, God seeking Christians. This family tithes to their church, and are good stewards of the 90% left over. They don't have debt, live clean lives, and are very invoved in their church. They are a Christian family to look up too and many in their church do. They have a heart for Africa the same way I do. They have adopted before and had a similar situation as the one I am about to tell you... If I don't get a fact correct I know that this woman will bring it to my attention and I will correct it.

Soon after the last adoption, they decided that they wanted to adopt again. The agency they had used wouldn't let them adopt so soon. They wanted to adopt from the same country, but something led the wife to another country in Africa and another agency. She checked their website daily. Knowing that it was becoming an obsessive quest, she said that today would be the last day she would check it and to leave it in God's hands. She found two beautiful girls that day, not babies, but without special needs. Truly beautiful girls. One would ask, why would such beautiful healthy girls still be up for adoption. Other than it was God's plan. After prayer, her husband agreed to change agencies and countries. The rest of the story is proof that when it is God's will and plan for your life every thing just falls into place.

Their request for the girls was accepted in 1 day.
The approval to adopt out of birth order.
Their home study was done in 3 days.
Their fingerprints were taken immediately.
They were the last children to pass court before closing.
Their passports and visas came in record time.
Their tax return was enough to cover the adoption fees of both girls.
Her employer has decided to pay for part of their adoption.
Her employer is continuing to pay her for the possible 2 trips she will need to take.
Her employer is paying for the airline tickets.
It is suppose to take 2 trips to bring these girls home. They have heard and pray that it will only be one trip to bring them home.
They will have brought home 3 children from 2 different countries and processes in less than 8 months!!!

Why is this family being so blessed??? Because it is God's will, and God's plan.
They are a family living according to God's plan, And wanting to do God's will. They stepped out into the deep water, and trusted God to provide, and that His will, would be done.

Does this mean that people that face trials in adoption aren't doing God's will?? NO!!! I don't know why...... All I know is that this family is a great encouragement to other families who want to do God's will.

I love you sister!! Have fun in Africa for me!!! Smell the air, pick up some dirt, collect some rocks. Laugh with the people, cry with the people, kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss. I pray a special blessing over you and your daughter on this trip. I know all that read this will pray as well.......... I love you!!

We went Pee pee again!!!

It was time for a bath and told Selamnesh to sit on her potty and go pee pee. As she sat there I went to get some chocolate chips, cheaper than M&M's. When I came back she was standing, I told her to sit and she pointed to the potty and said,
"Pee pee". By golly she went!!! This hasn't been the first time, but the third time. I have thought of starting potty training, all my other kids were trained by 2. But I'm not ready for her to be a big girl, I want her to be a baby just a little longer...........

She had her bath, and while standing grabbed her butt and said, "Poo poo". OKAY!!! Get her out, dry her off, and sit on the potty. And we sit. And we sit. Okay, I'm done............


Monday, May 18, 2009

The long walk

One year ago Bizunesh walked 3 hours to make the best choice she could have for baby girl who she named Selamnesh. How many times had she started that trek only to turn back and go home??? She had nothing to feed her, in the end it was just warm water. Ohh, how I don't understand her pain. I honestly don't know if I would love my children enough......Would I rather them die in my arms??? Or give them to someone I never met, and would never hear from again??? I honestly couldn't tell you what I would do. 3 hours is a long time, a long time to second guess your decision. I have 3 hour drives all the time. I can think a lot in 3 hours. I can drive 3 hours with Selamnesh in the back seat. But what would I be thinking if I had 3 hours to walk with my precious baby in my arms???????? Bizunesh, I will never forget what you have done. You are much more loving and caring than I could ever be. I love you!!!

Sunday, May 10, 2009

My first Mother's Day of 3 children

My first Mother's day as a mother of 3 beautiful children!!! I am so blessed!!! I can't imagine Selamnesh not being part our family.....

I am not the newest mother of my friends. We spent last night with one of our dearest friends who brought home two boys yesterday from Ethiopia!!! Bringing home these boys was a difficult process!! For over 2 years, their family fought to bring them home. And now....Tahja is a new mother of 6 count them, 6 boys!!! Her boys are very special to me and our family. While we were in Ethiopia bringing home Selamnesh; our family, these two boys and some helpful people sat in a small room visiting with these boys. Not knowing if they understood a word I was saying I tried to tell them through my sobs of grief that their mother was fighting for them, and that she was doing everything that she could to bring them home. While inside wondering if it was God's will that they should be in the United States. God's will is not always what we think is the "right" thing to do. What if it was God's will that these two last boys of a group of seven children were to stay behind to change their world?? While I prayed that my will, will be done?? Last night I watched 20 of our children sit around a dining room table eating dinner together and one third of those children were chosen to be part of our families from Ethiopia. I couldn't hold it in, I went outside to loose it!!!!!!!!!!

Why??? For many reasons........ For childhood friends that were reunited. For the miracles God has shown us. And that His timing is perfect!! And I grieve......I know that I see the lives of these 8 Ethiopian children differently than their adopted families. Each of our families sees adopting our children differently, for different reasons. We each have a love of Ethiopia. But my love for the country is different from the rest of the families. I see a people that are content with what little they have. A people that truly love one another. I see a country of people that is so taken advantage of. I see a country of happy people. The devastation is so great, but THEY are truly thankful for what they have and praise God for what they have, and don't concentrate on what they don't have and what they want. I grieve for the 7 children who were taken out of this loving country. Yes, they have more than they ever would. But I grieve for the loss of a culture so unknown to us... Yes, their country could not provide for them what we can give them, but they left behind a culture that we can never replace. I sat on a roof top for hours and would watch children play in the streets. They were happy!! Laughing, playing, like any group of friends in any country. These were children playing with a waded up peice of paper for a ball. Some children had clothes, others did not. Some had shoes, others did not. Day after day we would watch them play and their wasn't any judging of children. No clicks of kids with clothes or without. They all played together... Here we would look at them and think, What was that mother thinking... But they are a people that cares for their children like we don't. We are so consumed with ourselves. We worry about offending the parents of our children's friends by yelling at them. We would never think of disciplining our friend's children. Heck we don't even disapline our children in public. Imagine if your house had no walls...... And we don't love our friend's children as if they were our own. SO different of a culture there............They really have a village raise a child. Children that are respectful, children that are loving to all, children who are treated as children and not as equals to adults. How many parents share all the family secrets with their children. Children are children. They are a nation of children who are loved by neighbors as if they were their parents. How many people in your neighborhood would take your children if something happened to you, and not expect or even accept a penny for it??? NO WAY...Maybe if it was a friends child, but not for stranger's children.......... We would want some financial assistance. Look at our foster care system. People can stay home, raise some one's children and actually make money doing it......... What if you didn't get a penny of help for raising those children?? Would they do it then?? I have a passion for the people of Ethiopia!! I don't see it as rescuing children from a bad life. I don't think I can give Selamnesh a better life here is the United States. I wanted a little girl, and a little girl I got. But I got so much more!!!! I learned humility that I couldn't anywhere else. I am no better of a mother, they are better than I. I can give material things, and education, but they really are loosing out on something more precious than I can give. I love a woman who I share a child with. I grieve for Bizunesh. I love that woman. We share mother's day. A day that is Hallmark. Did Bizunesh know what we did was special today?? NO!!! But I grieve for her loss. She did the last resort. She knew that her baby girl was going to die if she didn't get the only help left to her. As Bizunesh told me on a September morning, "You are her mother, I am Bizunesh". So we share a child that without either of us would not be here. And I share this special day with her. She taught me so much about being a mother that I would have never learned without her. I don't think I will ever be the mother she was.... I love you Bizunesh!!

So on this special day we went to our favorite place........... The Zoo!! Selamnesh has a connection with the Lions. They love her. It might help that we go there every weekend...... But they have come right up to the glass and look into each other's eyes every week. It would not surprise me if she worked with lions in her life. The next Jane, but with lions. We fed the giraffes. That is so much fun!!! We break wasi crisp crackers into tiny pieces and they take them out of your fingers. It's really awesome!!! We could go to the zoo and stay for hours and only visit 2 exhibits. The giraffes and the lions.








Spending the day with my mom was really special!! We don't get enough days together!! I miss my mom so much!! I remember being a teenager thinking that I love her so much, and struggling with loving my mother and being a teenager. My mom got to feed a giraffe for the first time. It was very special to see my mom do something for the first time. I feel that there is so much in life that my mom has not had a chance to experience. I want to help my mom experience every thing that she can. My mother is not old, but a very young 67 years old. But I realize that she will not be around forever. If something happens to my mom, she knows that she will be living in my house and be taken care of by me. But God willing, nothing will happen to my mom for many more years. And until then I want to help my mother see things and do things that I feel she has missed out on. Mostly because she was busy trying to care for 3 selfish children. I love you mom!!






It was a long day. But Selamnesh always has the most energy!!

Monday, May 4, 2009

I am SO In Love

You know the feeling.......You look in their eyes and you melt into a puddle on the floor...The way they touch your face and you feel butterflies.....when your eyes meet and you both start to laugh.......when they tell you that they love you all on their own with out any prompting......I Am So In LOVE!!!


This morning when I dropped Selamnesh off at daycare. I couldn't have been more in love!! I was running an hour behind. Why?? Because I just didn't want to leave her. You know the feeling when you have a new love and you just want to be together all the time??? It was a typical morning. I sitting at the Breakfast bar, she sitting in her big girl chair next to me. Both of us eating our peanut butter sandwiches. Our eyes would meet and one of us would give the other a bite from our sandwich. And we would both giggle...... by the time we were both done eating she had peanut butter on her clothes, in her hair, and all over her fingers. She would give me the finger that had the glop of peanut butter on it and I would act like a monster and chomp it off. As I clean the peanut butter from between her fingers and around her face I sing a song about what I'm doing....under your chin, on your neck, this cheek then that cheek, naming and counting each finger, making sure she still has them all. We laugh......Ahhhhhh I am so in love.... We finally head out the door. And arrive at the daycare one and a half blocks from our house. We are singing and dancing our way through to her room. They all know that I am NUTS!!! No other parents sing or dance when they drop their kids off.

I know, I watch them the same way they watch me!!!!

We burst into the room as I proclaim. "No one loves their children as much as I love mine!!!" I look at one of my favorite little girls Selamnesh plays with and I tell her, "Your mommy loves you, but not as much as I love my little girl" The daycare teacher looks shocked. Shock factor is what I do best. My best friends know that about me. And love me anyway!! We take off our coat and the same little girl comes up to me. I scoop her up, look her in the eyes, and call her by name and say I love you!! I wasn't sure she had ever heard it..... Selamnesh has said I love you for a long time now. I think I say the words I love you to her more than any other phrase. I set her down and Selamnesh would want up. I squat down and hold them both on my lap. Giving them both a squeeze and tell them again how much I love them both. Selamnesh says "Ahh wub ohh" Repeatedly this little girl would come and every time I would tell her I love her. Finally after the 10th time, she repeated it back.

I watch people drop their kids off, It takes me a long time to drop her off. She is fine, it's me....... They take off their child's coat. Say hello to the teacher, and say "I'll see you later" most of the time not even that.....then give them a quick wave and they are out the door.

I tell every one that I love them. My children, their friends, my friends, their kids. But when I say it I mean it!!! I don't use "I love you" as a salutation. So often, my family or friends will end a conversation on the phone with an "I love you." Most of the time I say,"yah love you". But it's really meaning less. I will usually say their name and I love you. I want to know that I mean it every time.

Lauren is 16 years old. She isn't as affectionate as Tristan. But when I drop her off at school every day, I rub her arm or touch her leg, she hates it every time, but I don't care!!! I look her in the eyes and tell her I love her, and ask for a kiss. Tristan is a little easier with the affection. I still get teary eyed when I drop them off at school like the first day of kindergarten. Now I only have 2 more years of dropping Lauren off. Wow!! Where does the time go??

How can I be so in love with my children?? My friends don't even understand. I would guess that most parents don't mind getting a breather as I have heard them say, when they let their kids go to friends houses. I hate it!!! Some think that I don't let my kids go to friends houses, or to the mall with friends because I fear for their safety or I don't trust them. I trust my children, I just don't trust any one elses!! But in reality, I would rather go with them, or have their friends over at our house. I love being with my children!!! Being single for so many years I have taken a lot of vacations with friends. And I honestly have a better time with my children than I do a friend. I enjoy motherhood so much now at 39 years old.

Children are a gift from God. and I am SO Blessed!!!

So where does this leave me....... thankful...... My children are good kids, I don't think that it is any mystery that the more time you spend with your children the more they pick up from you. You might think you love your children, but not as much as I love mine!!!