Merry Christmas from our family to yours

We would like to wish everyone who reads these words a very Merry Christmas and my Jesus Christ Bless you as He has Blessed our family this year.

This year has been one blessing after another. The very unexpected referal of Selamnesh. A wonderful summer of enjoying my two older children in a season of lasts, just the 3 of us. Our eye opening trip to Ethiopia to visit the birth country of my 3rd child Selamnesh. Tristan would like to remind everyone that this was not a vacation. This was a mission trip. The mission was getting to know the people of Ethiopia. Picture taking was not like taking pictures at Disney World, but remembering for Selamnesh for the rest of her life. Meeting Bizunesh, Selamnesh's birth mother. I respect this woman so much. In our country most women who deside to make a plan for their unborn child, including adoption for reasons such as.....I can't afford a child, wanting to go to college, having too many children, I want to finish high school, or just don't want the responsibility. Bizunesh never went to school, gave her first born child to me, would have loved the responsibility, and couldn't afford a child.......Look at what we have and we say we can't afford things. Bizunesh didn't have cable, a tv, electricity, a cellphone, a home phone, a house, an apartment, eating out, hanging out with friends....... For Bizunesh it was a very different life.(Don't misunderstand me. I think that every young woman that finds herself in an unexpected pregnacy, her best choice is to place that child up for adoption. You don't realize how long some people wait wanting to have a child. How they would care for that child as if they gave birth to it themselves. How much BETTER of a life that child would have.) I'm only making the comparison between lives. Bizunesh and Mary, Jesus's mother had a much closer comparison than any of us in the states can imagine. Being an un-wed pregnant woman could have gotten Mary killed or disowned. So is the story with Bizunesh. We think nothing of an un-wed pregnant woman. That isn't the case in Southern Ethiopia. We have a poster size picture of our family with Bizunesh in the middle hanging above our couch in our family room. We remind Selamnesh every day who Bizunesh is and how much she loves her. When I look at Bizunesh I feel I am looking at Jesus's mother. When Mary had baby Jesus, she didn't know how He would Save the world. When Bizunesh had Selamnesh she didn't know how she would change the world. Soon after getting our baby girl home she had complete liver shut down. We didn't know if she was going to make it. But God Blessed us, by listening to the plee's of so many of you. He healed her completely. And friends who sat with me in the hospital for a whole week!! I am Blessed!! As an update, they still don't know what caused it, or how she got better. But we know!! Since going back to work after being off for a few weeks after our homecoming. Business has been WAY down. This last year hasn't been real good in my territory. And since going back to work the media keeps reminding people of how broke we are!!!!! I work in sales. I don't sell, I don't make money. Bottom line!! I can drive 3 hours to go to 3 appointments and not make a dollar. And I have to pay my gas to get there!! I have had weeks I owed the company money, and weeks I had a deposit of $58. But God continues to Bless us in other ways. Our angel Jill who made sure that our family had a wonderful Christmas. The children were very suprised!!!! I can not thank you enough!! We are so Blessed!! God has never forgotten us and His Word says He NEVER will!!

May the Love of Jesus Bless your families as He has Blessed Ours.

Snow Snow can you believe the Snow

We are getting record snow falls and records for the month and it's not even Winter yet. (taken on December 19) Thanks to Don and his handy snow thrower we have had a pretty easy season so far...........

Tristan becomes a teenager!!!!!!!!

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Can you beleive my baby boy turned 13?????? I took he and a few friends cosmic bowling. Because he's getting older.......his party started at 8pm and lasted until after 1am!!!!! He keeps me young, and has such great friends!!!!!!

Legally Ours Forever

On Tuesday, December 16, 2008 We went to court for the very last time, to make Sahara Selamnesh, Elizabeth a permenant member of our family.

Court took all of 5 minutes including being sworn in. It was very anti-clamatic. But it was a very special day to us.

Home 2 months photos

Birthday Cake

We had a quiet weekend. We stayed around the house for the most part. I built shelves in the basement to house my collection of boxes. I think deep down inside I wonder if they are going to stop making them. So I collect them. Really it's because I'm too practical and would never want to buy a box. I even ripped 4x8 sheets of particle board into 2x8 for the actual shelves with my handy Mikita skill saw. (thanks Mom)

8am Saturday morning Tristan decides he is hungry for cake. He finds a Funfetti cake mix, and makes the cake. Lauren wakes at the smell of almost done cake and wants to take it out half baked and eat it raw. They settle on baking the cake.... I help cut off the top, and they eat it. They decide to frost it in vanilla and put sprinkles on the top. I take a break from my project to see a beautiful cake. I almost wanted to put candles in the top....... (any reason for a party) We each had a piece of cake, Selamnesh was napping and missed out.

So last night I made a beautiful apple smoked bacon, encrusted pork roast, red potatoes with garlic butter, and topped it off with a piece of cake. As I started feeding Selamnesh small pieces of cake, I started thinking about her birthday. What would I do for her 2nd birthday. For the children's first birthdays I got them their entire own cake and they could eat it any way they wanted. Yes, I would do the same for Selamnesh........... What about her 1st birthday..... Her mother surrendered her 13 days before her 1st birthday. I got the referral call the day before her birthday. Her birthday was on a Wedensday. We went out for dinner in honor of her birthday and I couldn't stop crying then........ What did her birth mother do on her birthday?? Did she cry?????? I sat and cried, and tried to smile as I fed her cake and eventually let her eat it on her own. I cried for the birthday I missed....I cried because she didn't have a cake and balloons and streamers on her first birthday...... I wondered if her mother and I would both be crying every birthday for our little girl that we share. I told her through two translators that I would give her a birthday gift every year from her birth mother.

Lord, God. I pray that you give Bizunesh peace. May you know that your little girl is happy, and loved, she is always warm, and is never hungry. I love you.

The Dog Whisperer

The dog was not harmed in any way. I am teaching her to be nice to the puppy. She loves to sit in his crate..... What can I say, It's just too cute.....

Almost Normal

First I have to thank everyone for their prayers. It is only prayer that has bought us this far......... We have been to the Dr. for blood draws at least twice a week. Today was another one of those days. I still cry when I hear my baby girl screaming as they hold her down. Today they couldn't get a good draw. They said she has so much scare tissue on her tiny veins that they have a hard time sticking the needle through... great. But they got it done. I love our Doctor!!! He calls me within hours to give me the results.....She is at 90!!!! Praise God!!!!!! We started the Primaquine to keep the Malaria away. It actually kills the eggs of the Malaria parasite. Get this.....from someone who doesn't like to take an advil for a headache...... The US doesn't have much experience with Malaria, So I'm suppose to give her 1/3 of a tablet. I said no way!!! So they came up with a different plan, as cave man as this sounds..... They crushed the pills for me and have each one in a baggie. I have to add 15 Mg of water to each pill, stir it up, and give her 5mg of the liquid. They don't know how it holds up over time in water, so I give her two doses and throw the third away...... I'll do what ever it takes......We don't have to go back for over a week!!!!!Yeh!!!!!!

We are HOME

Even though we are home, there isn't much more to say........ They still don't know what is/was wrong. They don't know what caused, what ever.... We go in every few days to draw blood. Hopfully her numbers will continue to decrease. I'm not sure how I feel about it now that we are home. Children's hospital staff is wonderful. They never asked me to hold her down, or to even be in the room for that matter. And the nurses went just that extra mile. One of our first days, I came back to the room to find a nurse in the crib with Selamnesh singing the wheels on the bus...... Thanks Trica!!!!!! And Tiffany you were such a blessing!!!!! All of the nurses were!

And I can't thank the rest of you who prayed and pled with God for healing. It IS the only reason she is better. Then didn't give her a ml of medicine besides Vitimin K for clotting, and an ant-acid for her stomach. Most kids get ulcers in the hospital, so it's just a precaution. Prayer is the only thing that made this precious child better.

Tomorrow we go in for a full lab work up. Hoping her numbers are down. Normal is under 60.....Last she was 926. Better than 4000, but not 60 yet. I'm hoping for a cause also. Give me a virus, a paracite, give me something......... but tell me what was wrong with my precious child.

PS. It's so wonderful to have Lauren and Tristan with Selamnesh. Lauren is going to be such a great mother!!!!!

Update

Really there isn't anything new to tell. A bunch of maybe this, maybe that, maybe we can go home tomorrow.

They draw her blood every 12 hours the maximum that they can. Being that she is only 16.67 pounds they can only draw about 11cc. So they draw the maximum twice a day. If the tests turn out that her liver levels are continuing to lessen she can go home if she test negative for a certain parasite. If not then we stay. They wanted to do a pic line so that they wouldn't have to stick her but they couldn't get her veins to open up enough. The insides of her tiny arms are just bruised Black! They took her off of the IV, but keep the site in, just in case they need to hook her back up. They have tried a new line in her other foot, but can't get it. Her tiny body is bruised so badly it's hard to look at when I change her. I have to focus on the medical miracle that they can remove a piece of liver through needles, instead of cutting her open.

My heart aches.......for Lauren and Tristan. For my baby girl....For her Birth mother..... I held her birth mother in my arms and promised her that I would take care of her baby girl. She trusted me to care for the child she gave birth to.

How has God Blessed me in this............ Christy and Tahja. I can not thank you enough. You help me while I wept. It's not like we are family, or that I grew up with you both, or that we have shared our darkest, deepest secrets............ Wednesday night while curled up on the couch in our room, I finally listened to the 8 voicemails I had after meeting with Dr. after Dr. and drawing her first blood. It's Christy... She knew I wouldn't ask for help, so she desided to come anyway. She left 2 hours ago!!!!!!!! I so needed her. Tahja came the next day and stayed until Sunday night. She asked questions for me, heard what I didn't, and held me as I cried. We even got the nurses to think that we were a "couple".

Lee...Thank you for the bags of goodies and the radio. It has made all the difference. Christian music has brought up conversations with people. And has been my strength when I am alone.

Greg...Thanks for the visit. It was wonderful to see you.

To the kindness of all who have emailed and left messages for me. Some who are complete stangers to me. THANK YOU!!!

Sunny and Sunny......Ethiopian women who came to me and spoke Ahmaric to Selamnesh. She does understand!!!!!!! We are family.

Jesus, thank you for your continuted strength. I never felt alone. I know you will never leave me, or forget about me. To God be the Glory!!!!

God has so Blessed me in this troubled time. God does not give you what you can not handle, for this I am certain.

UW Madison

Wednesday morning we had a regular check up with the pediatrician. He came in, sat down and didn't look good. Looking intently at his laptop said we needed to check a few more things out...... So more blood draws, a chest xray......waiting......waiting.... I peak out the door wondering if I can get her dressed. He tells me that it will just be a minute that he is making some phone calls......wait......

He comes in, sits down, scrolls on his laptop, which I beleive is a nerveous habit. He looks at me, and says, I don't know what to do. Her liver issn't functioning. Her levels are all off. I can leave and he will let me know where we were going to go. 2 hours later he calls to say, go home, pack a bag, and rush to the Children's Hospital. Hurry. They are waiting for you.........

7pm we pull into the parking ramp. They are waiting for us, name on the room already. As I walk down the hall to the desk, I start to loose it.......

We have been here for 4 days!!!!! I have been over everything....They draw the mazimum amount of blood at a time, to run every test they can think of. They don't know what's wrong.......

Thursday at 3pm we had a liver byopsy. Her liver is 4 times the normal size. The liver is destoying it's self. She is in liver failure. They sat me down and prepared me for liver transplant. Oh my God, I haven't even had my daughter home for 2 weeks and they are planning to cut her to pieces.........I should be home planting bulbs in the gardens, with her sitting in the grass. Instead I'm asking if liver faliure is fatal. The liver specialist replies, not always.......They don't know what's wrong or what's causing it......

As of this moment tonight......Bottom line....... It's not the major things we all think of. It's not HIV, it's not Hep A, B, C. They stopped talking about transplant. And now we pray and wait for results of tests to determine what it is......

Thank you for your prayers, God Is Good All The Time!!!!!

This is why I wanted to be a Mommy again

I am living the dream!!

Last night it all became real. Lauren and Tristan spent the weekend with their dad. I missed them very much and called to see how they were doing. Tristan went duck hunting, and Lauren is still under the weather after the trip home. I still miss them very much when they aren't at home!!!

Selamnesh, we are still calling her for now because she doesn't know any English and at least she knows her birth name, and I ate dinner. I'm not one for spicy food and that's all she ate in Addis. I bought some Pastrimi at the deli after realizing that the food I like just didn't have enough flavor. Saturday I tried giving her rotisseri chicken, she spit it out until I but BBQ sauce on it. So I thought I would try some pastrami. She ate all of the outside pieces with the pepper aound the edges. She wouldn't eat the middle!!!!! So I grabbed the pepper mill. After mixing in the pepper she ate it all!!!! After dinner we sat in the living room and played with the barnyard. Later I popped some popcorn and we sat watching 60 minutes and ate/played with the popcorn. She loved it!! I think because I douse it with salt and butter!! She would stick her little arm in the bowl and stir it around, pull a few choice pieces out and eat them. She would climb over my legs and back, She started crawling on all fours, it was just so much fun!!! And that's when it all hit me........This is why I wanted to be a mommy again!!!!

Today we went to the Dr. They drew blood, I cried more than she did. I started to cry when they were trying to deside which vein was better. Everyones comments were the same........She is so tiny, she looks like a porcelin doll. And she does. I don't realize how tiny she really is for her age.

Just a few minutes ago I found her crawling to the dog's bowl of food. So I put it in his crate. I turn around and she has her arm up to her body in the crate taking the kibble out of his dish and eating it!!!!! So I gave her a teething biscut, now as I write she is giving the dog licks of her busicut!!!!! She just gave him the buscuit!!!!!! This is what being a mommy is all about!!!!! This is living the dream!!!!!

Flying home, First McDonalds fries and McFlurry, Embassy Day

We are a Family... my Brother, Sister, and Me

Trip home from Hossana"notice the Jesus clouds"

children love to see poloroid pictures of themselves

Busy roads on the way to Hossana because of holiday

Trip to Hossana

Pictures of Muskul Holiday Celabration

Embassy Day

This morning we went to the the farewell ceremony at the care center. It was bitter sweet. They dressed the children in traditional clothing. The older children sung us a few songs. They put their hand prints in a book. We had cake and then had a prayer. The care takers love these children so much. Everyone was in tears. the nannies and us parents. CHSFS is not like other orphanages.

Most of the children are going home next week or the following. But there is one little girl who broke my heart. She is 8 years old. She has been there for a year. I'm sure that she will have a wonderful family someday. But for a year she has watched children every week go home with families, but she knows that she does not have a family. She is beautiful!! My heart aches for her. She understands at 8 years that she has not been chosen. May God comfort her and soften the heart of a family to adopt her.

After the ceremony we went to the Embassy to finalize the adoption. Really non eventful. I feel like I should have answered more questions, done something more. We waited in a room until our name was called. Then we went to a window and they asked us a few questions like is this the child you thought you were going to get?? Then it was done!!

After the Embassy we went to do some last minute shopping. We hired a driver for $6.50 an hour. This guy graduated with a veterinary degree and makes more money driving foreigners around than he does as a Vet.

We checked our flights and we still leave here at 10:15pm tomorrow and still arrive at our airport Friday at 4:30. For more details call my mom.

Dinner

After getting home from the trip to Hossanna, we were hungry. Some of the people in the guest house are vegetarians. So we have been eating noodles and sauce every day. We were craving meat!!!!!!!!! There is a local restaurant Metro Pizza. We walked there and after one glance of the menu discovered they had steak!!!!!!!!! It wasn't an American 1 inch steak, but more like a Ponderosa steak, covered in mushrooms and gravy. Steak never tasted so good!!!! And all for 55 birr=$5.50 a steak dinner!!!!

Today the good bye ceremony and the American Embassy.

Meeting Selamnesh's Birth Mother

Today we left at 6am. It was a 3 1/2 hours drive to Hossanna. This country is called the green famine. The hills and mountains are green and beautiful. We saw a few waterfalls, but most creek beds were dry. It was a long drive. We went to the drop off site and waited for the private meetings. I of course was the second to last meeting. Her birth mother and I came into the room at the same time. I had seen a DVD of her yesterday, and I recognized her right away. We hugged about 20 times and each shed a lot of tears. I told her about me, my faith, my life, and how much I love her. I told her about our faith and she shared that she knows Jesus. What a comfort to know that she will be in heaven with us. She told me about her life and how she came to this decision. She wants Selamnesh to have an education and a better life than she could give her. She knows that there is a huge difference between our lives. It was so sad, and she humbled me so much!!! She asked if I would let Selamnesh come to visit when she is grown. I reassured her that we would be back. I knew most of her history ahead of time, so it wasn't a surprise. A few things shocked me. She is a beautiful woman of 25. She has a nose like my mom. Her ears and eyes are just like Selamnesh's. Tristan took some video and we got pictures of us as a family and a few with just her and I. I will frame them and put them in her bedroom. They lit candles and gave them to us, to symbolize giving us the trust of the children. We both cried and cried. And hugged and hugged!!!!!!!!! The people generally kiss three times on the cheek. I think we did 50 times.

Today was so wonderful. I praise God for our meeting. Please pray for her mother's health and life.

A very full day.

This morning I met with Salamnesh's Dr., Social worker, Nanny,and the journalist. The thing that makes this Adoption Agency different from every other is that they give you so much valuable information about her history. A journalist of the agency goes to the birth family home, films the home, the family, and where she was born. They ask the mother questions about the birth, the day she was born. And any message she wants to tell Salamnesh. I watched this 20 minute interview with her mother along with the other professionals. And then spent as long as I wanted with them asking them questions. It was a very emotional time.

Later we went shopping. I felt so rushed!!!!!!!! We had one hour at one market. Thirty minutes at another and then stopped at their version of Starbucks so everyone could by the most popular brand of Ethiopian coffee. It was amazing how much you could by for so little. There was a lot that I didn't get that I had wanted. I'm hoping that we will be able to go for a little longer tomorrow or Wednesday.

Because of Rashashana we might visit the birth families tomorrow or Wednesday. The holiday ends either day depending on the moon and the Muslin leader. It's a last minute decision.

Well, more tomorrow.............

OK. Power is back on

Seeing these kids was really great!!

We had our first laugh also. She doesn't really smile much. We also had our first bath tonight. And she didn't whimper or cry at all!!! Huge, huge!!! We also had a Vaseline massage. She loved it!!! Then we went out to the outdoor lawn swing and cuddled before putting her down and she went right to sleep. She is such an angel......

Our first day together

Today I picked up Sahara-Salamnesh at 9 am. We spent the entire day together. It went really well!!! She started out apprehensive as before. But she warmed up great!!! We ate lunch together, She ate injera and wat. The wat was really spicy, and the injera is a spongy tortilla and has a sour taste. I can't stand it!! She ate a ton of it!!! We went into the city to visit a friend's children. It was really neat to see the other side of the city. We drove through some nicer parts of Addis. We aren't suppose to take the children out in public but we went to their home and were with Ethiopians the whole time. We are having a power outage so gatta go.

More later

Being Real

Let's be real. This getting to know you process is difficult. Salamnesh went from a year of a loving caring mother to an orphanage unlike other orphanages you have heard so much about. She loves her nannies so much!!! When I peek into her room she is laughing and bobbing up and down to the nanny singing. She says little things, babble and a few words. But the entire time we spend with her she is either crying or ready too. She is SO timid!! She doesn't make eye contact. Although she is starting too. She is very serious. But we have only spent a total of 15 hours together. Today we pick them up at 9 and return them tomorrow morning. I'm hoping we have some breakthrough's today.

I knew she was little. She is very tiny. She looks like a little porcelain doll. Beautiful girl, she has the most beautiful features, on this little body. She's long, but skinny. She doesn't have good muscle tone in her legs. She sits well, but she doesn't exactly crawl, or pull her self up well. They say she can, I just haven't seen it. Despite the issues with crying, looking at me, and the physical she is the most cuddly baby!!! She loves the Ergo!! She loves to be held tight!! Yeah!! We love her so much!!! Lauren tries to take over. What a great little mama!! And Tristan is just so in Love with her. They just want to pick her up today and go home!!!

Tristan got a little queasy on the plane and going through customs. It's not good when you are waiting to be approved and you go running!!!!!!! It gets their attention.............

Lauren got sick last night. She thinks it was a combination of tired and spicy food. We eat a lot from our food suitcase. The staff here is great!!!! The meals are wonderful if you aren't the pickiest people in the world. And we are!!!!!!!!! We are staying with some vegetarians, so we are craving meat!!!!!!!! Someone get me a steak for the day we get home!!! Thick and rare!!!!!!!!

Pray for our day together. We love her so much!!!

Muskul Holiday

Good morning from Ethiopia!!

Last night we went to the Muskul Holiday Celebration. Wow!! Muskul Holiday is an Orthodox Christian holiday when St. Helen found the True Cross. So every year at this time they have a big celebration where they don't work or have school. They gather at the center of the city at the Muskul park. When you enter the park, the National "army" gives each person a pat down. They give you a trac and a candle. We walked up to the amphitheater. They have a very large tree shaped pile of sticks and branches. The celebration starts in the afternoon, they chant and sing and have people speak. The Orthodox Christian "pope" shall we say, gives a speech and message. It's long and drawn out when you have no idea what they are saying. The momentum builds as it gets dark. Then the candle lighting and then they light the tree. Families also have small fires made in front of their houses. They have a tree sticking out of the top of a pile of sticks and they decorate it with the Muskul flower that only blooms after the rainy season.

Today we spend most of the day with the babies!!! I am about to bust!!!

She is so Beautiful and shy!!

We went to the care center at 8am. We were called in one family at a time. We were 4th. When we walked into the room the camera guy was running the camera. Her nanny had her standing in the middle of the room. We were told that she is extremely shy, doesn't like to meet new people, doesn't like eye contact, and doesn't like change. She looked at us, and didn't cry. That was great!! The nanny held her for a few minutes, then handed her over to me. She is very shy!!! She looked down most of the first 10 minutes. Then she laid her head down on my shoulder. I fell so in love!!! Lauren and Tristan held her for quite a while. She never cried when we took turns holding her. Her favorite new toy is musical. Thanks Mom!!! She didn't want to let it go or let you take it away. We spent 2 hours with her and she is so sweet but so shy it's painful!!! Her leg muscles are so weak that she can't walk or even stand. We will need to work on that. She is so beautiful!!! Soft ringlet curls, big doe eyes, full lips, and the tiniest nose. She is light as a feather and long. Picture to follow as soon as I can...........

Tomorrow we will meet with her for 3 hours in the morning, come back to the guest house for lunch then go back to pick her up for the day.

TTYL

Leaving for the Care Center

Sleep was ok. To our bodies we went to sleep at 4pm. And as predicted the dogs bark and the prayer tolls ring early!!! Breakfast was pancakes. Leaving for the care center now. Talk more later.

Were Here!!!!

The trip was pretty much non-eventful. Wonderful flights, The flight attendants were great, nice and accommodating, great food, and 5 families adopting from our group. So the time went faster than it could have. Every time we turned around we were being fed great meals with Cheesecake!!! Security went great, non-eventful. In the morning we will meet Sahara for the first time. We got our social report tonight and what great pictures!!! I will share photos as soon as I can............. As for now it's almost midnight and we haven't slept for more than a few hours in the last two days. So ta-ta for now from Ethiopia!!!!!!!

Ready Set Go

At the airport

Baby girl we are on our way!!! All of the luggage made it!!!! We passed inspection and we are just waiting for our flight.

I woke up at 5:07am. And I couldn't fall back asleep. I thought about what Sahara was doing, she just got done with lunch, maybe taking a nap. I can't wait to see you baby girl!! I was ready and waiting to go at 6:30am. Until Mom and Dad (George) came at 8am to drive us to the airport. Mom is always very early and rushed us to leave. We got to the airport with almost 3 hours to kill. Saying good bye to mom was the hardest!! I love you Mommy!! I could only hope that my children love me as much as I love you!! Thank you to everyone that called or txt lastnight or this morning. Tj I will make it work, I will see your boys!! I will miss you all!!!! Blessings!!

How much luggage does it take to bring Sahara home??

327#

Now before you think, that is a lot of stuff........... We are allowed 100# per person for checked luggage. And 15# for a carry on. My purse weighs more than 15#!!!

I had less!!!!!! I did the final pack, weigh, move, weigh, pack, weigh, move, weigh. And I was under in every suitcase!!!!!! SOOOOO what's a girl to do??? Pack more!!!!! I packed an extra pair of shoes, toys, clothes for all the kids, more stuff to donate and I got the weight too.............


49# food suitcase
48#
46#
44#
45#
18#
15#
15#

24

A friend turned me on to the show 24 and if you ever watched it you know the music that goes with it at every commercial. Tonight I look at the clock and imagine in 24 hours what will I be doing...........

24 hours from this very minute I will be somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean!

12 hours from this very minute I will be waiting to board the 1st of 4 flights!!

I am no longer nervous, no longer feel like I'm going to loose it!! I am at peace.

One Day and counting

I’m calling this one day. I have one full day until we leave. And you know, I’m doing okay……. I actually feel better than I have all week.

I will be trying to post all week from Ethiopia. The internet is iffy and blogspot is blocked from Ethiopian internet. SO ……..A computer person is going to post on my blog for me. Thanks S.

We will be returning home on Friday the 3rd of October at 4:30. Into our local airport. For details call Mom, Rebecca or Christy.

Holding it together

I'm just holding it together. As you all know I'm a super emotional person and I show my feelings quite well, even when I'm trying to fake it. Up until now I have held it together pretty well. My last melt down was the day of the referral. I could have been committed!!!! Don't get me wrong, I cry, boy do I cry...... Men you think that's loosing it, no way....... Loosing it means you are to a point of no return.

Church was wonderful. Church is always an emotional thing for me. I am so humbled every worship service that I usually shed a tear or two. Being that this is the last Sunday alone, I thought it might be the time I loose it. I hate it when my children go to their dad's house. I love that unlike so many divorced families, their dad and them have a great relationship!! And we share the time 50/50. BUT I hate the idea of them going there!!!!!!! I hate Fridays, knowing that they will go with their dad in the morning, and I will always try to stall them leaving...... I'm so bad!!!!!!! I love going to church with my children!!! But they are to the ages that they love going to church with their friends, which is a GREAT thing!!!

So getting ready this morning was like this huge revelation that this is the last time I will be getting ready by myself for a lot of years. How wonderful is that, I fantasize about having someone else to get ready, baby barf, and poopy diapers, I am so excited to change diapers again!!!!

I did very well during the service. Pastor Lathen you are wonderful and should really preach more!!!!! All was going well, I was visiting with people after service when a newer couple wanted to talk about adoption with someone. Sure, my favorite subject........ I was walking them down the hall to meet the family of 5, when passing by was a woman who I admire, but don't know all that well. We have had a few conversations, and over to the house, but not someone I have shared my deepest secrets with. She asked me to stop. She started digging through her purse, boy do I know the feeling....... She pulls out a twenty and hands it too me. I asked what it was for.....people have asked me to get them things from Africa....And she says what ever you need it for. I just about lost it!!!!!!!!! Inside I lost it!!!!!! I am so humbled by the generosity of people you don't know all that well. I know physiologically that I think that if I start to loose it, the fear is that I won't come back......... Very true. I know that at some time I will crash. I just hope it's by myself and not with a new couple standing next to me wanting to talk about adoption. God is so Good!!

3 MORE DAYS!!!!!!

"They" say this is normal....you know who you are.........But .............

I wouldn't know, but if I had to guess, this is what it feels like to be on drugs!!!! I feel like I'm going insane!!!

Today at Walmart while trying to pick up last minute things.......One minute I'm crying about this all becoming reality, the next I'm giggling out loud in the middle of Walmart, that I can't believe it's becoming reality, and then I'm dazed and confused, realizing that this is becoming reality!!!!!!

I have packed all day and night. 600# of luggage guess what, the food suitcase is the only one that was over the weight limit, just means I needed to shift some goldfish crackers, sunflower seeds, and starbursts. We are allowed 100# per person for checked luggage, but only 15# for a carry on item!!!!!!!! My purse weighs more than 15#!!!!!!!!!

shower pictures

Mom made the blanket
Lauren
Tristan
snack bowls